JEFF WOOD
1965 - 2007
"Forever beating the drum of our hearts."

To my bandmate, friend, partner in crime (as the Captain and Manager used to call us), and brother:

It was an honor and pleasure every moment we created music together, shared stories and laughs, watched "the footie", and "fucked up eggs". The heartbreak and void right now is huge and painful. God bless you Woody. I love you,
Butch
P.S. GO ARSENAL!!!

As most of you who check out this blog regularly realize, I have been laying low for the past few months. Recently, I saw in the guest book a question: what was up, where and how have I been? While I am a very private person, I feel a certain responsibility to explain to those who support my musical endeavors, where I've "been". I can't imagine readers want to hear repeated entries about tough times, depression, etc. That's for the therapist, so I thought it best not to write until there was something different to say. The mood has been bleak. I blog to share insights, not to dump troubles to the world wide web.However, I feel I must explain my blog "disappearance". The past 18 months have been difficult, the last six and a half horrific. Illness, divorce, and death seem to be a constant. I have lost family members, people I was very close to, and have seen a close friend slowly begin to lose his fight for life. Unfortunately, I will probably be writing more in these pages about him, and our terrible loss, in the days that lie ahead. News of writing songs, recording them, etc. seem quite unimportant to me these days. The fact that a new CD is nearly finished really has had little time in my thoughts. The fact that I have and will continue to cut back on live shows should not come as a surprise or concern. I will always keep the faith, it's just that I need space to do that right now. I know I recently blasted someone who said I was done, and I again say I am not done, but I am on a bit of a break. My reality is down to basics; life, love and death. Guitars and songs and tours and stories have to take a back seat for a while. I thank those who have always supported me. You are friends (even those I only know through e-mails and guestbook entries), and your understanding and "good vibes" are definately appreciated. There are great people out there who care so I felt I needed to explain myself, not leave them in the dark. I'll stay in touch. I just need time. As always, thanks for listening. Please keep Woody and his family in your thoughts and prayers. Take care. Later, Butch

Regardless of what someone wrote in response to "Cindy" asking where I've gone (on the guestbook page of butchryan.net), I am not "gone". I'm still here. I'm ok. As many of you know (who know me) or have read in these pages, the past 6 months or so have been very difficult. Woody's illness, the passing of my father, along with personal issues I won't share on these pages, have left me worn out a bit. I decided to take June off. I haven't blogged since April. To be honest, it's hard to blog when things in your life seem to be falling down around you. But rest assured, I AM NOT GONE! Now while I know some who read this blog would be saddened to hear that (if they don't like me why do they even come to my site?), many and most of you who are great supporters and/or good friends will be happy to hear I'm comin' 'round. If it may seem that if when it rains it pours Butch has had a hurricane blowing for the last half year, I'm here to tell you the sky is starting to clear. Before all this I've had plenty of blue sky, and I know there are blue skies ahead. As much as I try to stay out of the guestbook wars, sit back, read, and laugh at how some hate the way I dress while others come to my rescue and say it's all only about the music, it pisses me off, quite frankly, that someone out there:
#1 - answers "Cindy" for me
#2 - answers that I'm gone
I am certainly not "gone", and I challenge the person who feels I am to come out to Tank's on July 7th and see how "gone" I am.
To those who are still with me, let me assure you I've been gathering my thoughts, spirit, and drive. The CD that was haulted during recording due to Woody's illness will resume production shortly (I've been in contact with Steve Connelly and we actually had done quite a bit before the stop). Rock and roll will never die, and Butch Ryan is not gone. If you (and you know who you are) are sitting there thinking "bullshit", I can only offer you a sincere "FUCK YOU!"... and I hope to see you at the next show.
Take care. Later, Butch

I was listening to the Ramones this morning. It's so cool how they blended punk with 50's rock and roll. Simplicity and honesty. I guess that's why it worked. Sometimes if you've got something to say all you need is a guitar and 3 chords (see Bob Dylan). Keep it simple. Bigger is not always better... ladies! Seriously though, more more more doesn't always work (see New York Yankees) unless you're Billy Idol and it's the midnight hour (see "Rebel Yell"... ladies). There must be something real there. Which brings me back to the Ramones: they weren't trying to save the world, they just wanted to have a good time while they were part of it. I think that's an important lesson we can all learn from. Keep it simple and honest in everything you do, in the way you live your life. True, easier said than done, but that doesn't mean you can't strive for that to become your M.O. If you come up short, hell, you've still gotten further and gained some sort of understanding along the way than if you just sat there feeling crappy. Who would of thunk it: the Ramones can get me to focus on the bigger picture! As The Who once said, "Long live rock", at least for me. Maybe the kid next door gets it from Jay Z? Whatever... ladies. Take care. Later, Butch

Low, low, low. Feelin' low, layin' low. Low is the law of the land.

It's Opening Day for the baseball season. The Cubbies are in Cincy to take on the Reds. My dad isn't here. This sucks. I can't seem to get excited about it. My dad would be all over this game today. Zambrano is on the mound for Chicago. He loved watching that guy pitch. The amout of heartbreak I am currently feeling is beyond words. I miss my dad so much, even more on days like today, days we both looked forward to and shared so many times. As I write this I feel my eyes filling up so I will stop now.

OK, I'm ready to move on. I'm sucking it up for my Papa. I'll will try to watch our beloved Cubs. Can't promise I'll get through it all, can't promise I won't get upset while watching. But I WILL watch, and then tonight I will discuss it out loud for a few minutes before I go to bed, discuss it with him. Talk aloud to him like I do every night. Tell him I love him, miss him. Talk about our Cubs. Yep, that's what I'm gonna do. GO CUBS! Take care. Later, Butch

In Tom Petty's song "Walls", he sings, "Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks." I must admit my days (and mostly nights, when your brain isn't occupied with the daily bullshit and you're forced to think about things) have been pretty rocky. Sleep doesn't come with ease. It only arrives with utter exhaustion. Diamonds are rare. Little lights of sunshine, with an occasional laugh, feel great. They give me hope that in time, although things will NEVER be the same, I'll feel a bit brighter on the inside. My dad is on my mind constantly. It's in a good way: I think back to a fond memory, or hear what he'd be saying about a topic that's just crossed my ears. But always soon after, the saddness creeps in. We were close. I spoke to him everyday. During the week, 3 o'clock was our time. Three o'clock now arrives daily with pain. I miss him so much. It doesn't help baseball is back. Baseball was our biggest common denominator (besides my son Ryno). Yep, it hurts. Take care. Later, Butch
P.S. If you don't have a team, or really don't follow baseball, make the Cubs yours. My Papa is working a deal upstairs. This is the year!